I felt my muscles getting weaker, so I started my work out program a couple of weeks ago. I do sit ups amd stretcheing before I get up to brush my teeth, and then I do push ups, pull ups, back arms and squats. I do my walking back and forth in the cell. I let the thin window be my television and view of the world. It has been a month without my property, so I don't have my address book, toothpaste, lotion, soap, paper, pens and my writing material to meet my deadlines.
The tooth powder they give us to brush our teeth with, even some guards have warned me not to use.
Fortunately my Swedish brothers Jan and Göran have sent me some books to read and Judith, my sister has sent in various reading stuff and Barbara Brooks brilliant SJRA Advocate Journal which keeps me updated on all the news on the prison system.
I have not seen a bird yet this morning. Yesterday rock doves, true winged doves, seagulls, crows, geese, red tail hawks, and killdeer were everywhere all morning as I looked out of the window.
I wonder is Mother Earth or Earth Mother holding church somewhere in the hilly wilderness way beyond the prison and by noon or dusk some birds will appear. I think perhaps they all make peace today and don't prey on eachother. Deer lying down with wolves, coyotes and mountain lions. Red tailed hawks holding wings with doves. Bear and mouse walking shoulder to shoulder. A sparrow lands on a bob cat's nose and they toy with eachother like old friends. Turkey vultures flying high. Peace Love
Just want to remind new readers that Spoon don't have access to computers or the internet and his handwritten letters often takes weeks to reach their destination so blog posts are always a bit delayed.
Still on lockdown, so they handcuff and chain you up any time you get out of the cell, mainly for medical and even for showers handcuffed.
Anyways, I had a dental appointment and I sat in the chair as the dentist explained to me how my teeth grinding had worn down my two front teeth. He had actually done a good job explaining things. I am there chained up as the dentist cleans and inspects my teeth with dental tools, scraping and poking asking me a bunch of questions and he wanted answers and I answer him as best I can as he continue to work on me. Finally he says,
“I've heard your voice somewhere before”
“..on the radio KPFA, or something.. You are..”
“Yes, you wrote a book and you are a poet!”
I said “Yes, that's me”.
It was crazy and cool how this dentist knew who I was by my voice alone even through dental instruments poking around.
Continue the realness struggles
Spring is slowly passing on and lockdown have already consumed winter and now eating into spring.
I was in the hole for 12 days and now I am out and back on C-yard. But they have not given me my property so I don't have my adress book or letters from folks I need to answer like brothers Jan, Jimmy and Michel.
They have deepen the darkness of the lockdown and it's now almost the start of my six month in the cage. I am a little tired, but my heart is still full of love, peace and realness.
I am happy to say that ”At Night I Fly” went on Swedish TV April 20. So perhaps hundreds or thousands of people saw it. I hope so.
The hole cage was no fun and I've lost weight, but thats okay.
Back on mainline
out of the hole
they call Stand Alone
where you sit in a concrete cave,
no outside window or light
Concrete bunks, with a
concrete almost table
close to the bunk
no stool to sit there
Only a pen filler to write
they have a three inch wide,
by three feet fake sky window
that leads to nowhere
and you cannot see
I see sky and spots
on the window sill
trying to figure out
which are birds
or just dirt or stains
on the thick pane