I'm back

This is Spoon Jackson back after nearly four years of invisibility from this blog, welcoming the public to check out my old work here, on a new website and Rabbits of Realness! Also check out my album NO MOON produced by Freerrecords, available on music streaming services! There is a song called Computer Lady that will make laugh and cry! I have been gone from the blog thinking that I had to tone my language down in order to impress a governor who never had any intentions on commuting my sentence! I toned my flow and language down when in essence I've only been sharing realness and truth! Especially about the California racist system of justice! Stay real and I am back and forward!

Nowhere But Barstow and Prison

Barstow by the railway tracks

This is a repost of a story Spoon wrote 2016!

He's written a poem with the same name and Ani DiFranco has recently made music to it. Right now it's being released on The Prison Music Project on Ani's label Righteous Babe. Listen to Prison Prism  too - on Righteous Babe Radio!

I must speak loud quietly, so that the entire tier does not hear my conversation. I stand in the prison day room right next to the bone-crushing metal door, speaking on an old black-handed phone from the 1960s. This one is embedded in cement and steel.

                I ask, “Judith, what makes a poem classic?” I am soaked in sweat from a non-desert sticky heat that bubbles up on the skin – and off the windowless foot-thick concrete walls – like moss. “No Beauty in Cell Bars” and “Beauty in Cell Bars” have been published and republished for over twenty years. Are my poems classics?

                Silence fills the phone lines. Silence like watching the great Bill Irwin do one of his wordless skits on Broadway. Silence like the late Richard Pryor  smiling after one of his jokes that shocked an audience at the Apollo Theatre.

                Then I hear Judith's voice, one of the few voices that causes me to pause, ponder, listen, and sniff the air like a big cat. ”Spoon...” Judith's stuttering speech searches for the most lucid and wise words to impart her vision. I imagine the tickled look on her face. She's probably turning her head to the sky, eyes bright with drama, there in her apartment.

                “I mean” I say “who decides what makes a piece of writing a classic? Is there a board or something?"   

                “Spoon...” Still giddy, Judith's voice flows up and down like a brook.

                “Judith, I'm serious. You know I've been nowhere but Barstow and prison."         

                More silence and then “Wow!” which caught me off guard. I was waiting for Judith's answer to my question about classics but instead she says, “Man, that would make a great country song title.”

                “What would?”

                “Nowhere but Barstow and prison.”

And there she goes again, sending me down another path that eventually only brings more questions. I put the phone down and stroll back to the cell, pondering how Judith seem able to inspire magic phrases that have me creating poems, essays, and songs.

                My life had no meaning, no pulse, before prison. I was ignorant about all prison ways. I came from Barstow California, the heart of the high desert, the natural world – purple and red clay mountains, open spaces – and found nothing natural about cells. Even the air was tainted and twisted with unrealness, fleeting hope, and violent unrest. I was naïve and also unconnected to any inner spirit.

                During my trial, my mom and dad came to visit me. I was twenty years old and sat across the table looking at my parents. The environment did not fit them any more than it suited cattle to live in trees. My dad said one of the longest sentences I'd ever heard him speak: “Boy, you better pray!”

                My trial was quick for a death penalty trial and I was sentenced to life in prison. Trying to grasp a life without parole sentence at age twenty was like trying to hold a forest fire in my hands or an ocean in a tea cup.

Pre-prison, my life had never been one of words. I could barely read, add or subtract, and I spoke as my father did to me, in one word sentences. I sat stunned during my trial by all the words the DA, my lawyer, and the judge used. I had no idea what those words meant. I told myself then that I would never again let unknown words trap me and I started studying the dictionary.

                Once at San Quentin, I checked out all the books I could get from the prison library and education department. In one notebook I wrote down definitions. I used my favorite words in sentences in another notebook. I became enraptured with words and reading. I said certain words aloud many times and pondered a word in the way I thought of the garden in front of the prison chapel, or a sparrow singing in the tree by the captain's porch. I learned a few words each day and each one brought a geyser erupting inside my mind and soul. The more words I read and studied, the clearer life became.

I became richer and deeper inside. I could see, taste, feel and touch the growth taking shape inside me and understood things I had never understood before. It was like I walked down an endless hallway full of dark rooms and each room I passed, a light came on and I learned something new. I had to choose to grow, which meant to get to know myself and find my niche, bliss, and myth in life. I had to till the endless gardens in my mind, heart and soul.

                On a whim, I signed up for a poetry class. Judith was the teacher and her patience and belief in me, even before she knew me, inspired me. I sat for a year in her class in silence. Judith's trust in me, along with the power of art to heal, brought my silent desert life and world to paper like fresh rains in Death Valley.

                Judith had known as a child that she would be a writer. I had no indication of my fate when I was a boy. As a kid, I failed all my classes. I did not believe I could learn anything. I had accepted that I would dwell and die in the heart of the high desert, on Crooks Street, surrounded by those purple and red clay mountains that appeared to be the whole world.

                As a boy and a young man I mainly saw the destructive aspect of myself, but for eight years after I came to prison I read, studied, debunked, and peeled off layers of false history propaganda that had clogged my vision and dreams – those misguided histories I had been force-fed like a motherless lamb. For eight years I stayed to myself at San Quentin and avoided crowds. Although my heart, mind, and soul burned with thoughts, vibes and feelings, I let none surface and stepped over wounded, dying or dead bodies as everyone else did.

                In the poetry class, I began to see the unconditional beauty and love in myself that mothers see in their sons. Judith inspired me to reach into the empty pockets inside myself to bring forth treasures of realness. She validated what I did not know I believed in: the magic of words to heal and free, like the sun validates a seed.

                I began to see this magic shape my fate as my poems began to be published, as doors opened to other arts when I played Pozzo in the 1988 San Quentin production of Waiting for Godot, as I heard of miracles like Samuel Beckett reading my poems. Despite the fact that I'd been in prison for a decade at that point, this magic gave my life a purpose.

                Now I've been behind bars for over three decades and I know all too well making a life of meaning can make being in prison harder or easier. Living with meaning is harder when I don't get to travel, meet people, sit out in nature, give poetry readings, promote the books or CD's I've been part of creating, or meet with other artists and publishers. A life of meaning is easier when I get to mentor young people, give back, and be of service to people. It is especially pleasing to be able to detour and inspire a youngster to stop and ponder a bad choice and not stroll down a dark path to prison. We always have choices and it's just that often we are not conscious of that fact. I think that being a bard allows me to touch young people in the way only poets can. I can relate to failing, being unloved, abused, lost, violent and biased on so many levels because I lived that life. I can assure youngsters that we are all eating from the same bowl of soup.

                I know how sometimes, the older kids become, the more life can seem like a prison. Friendships that were once free, kind, fun and real become cruel, complicated, empty and heavy. All of a sudden reasons for not liking, and even hating, other people appear like new mountains. Color of skin issues arise. We find trouble outside and inside ourselves. It's like being chin deep in an endless pond, where you must keep your head up and not allow the water to seep into your nose and mouth.

                But at some point in most of our journeys, we want to redeem or restore ourselves. Each of us must explore and restore our own inner heart and soul. Rehabilitation is always self-rehabilitation. My journey led me to Judith and her poetry class. I could have gone on serving this life sentence in silence, longing only for the deeper silence of a raindrop falling gently to earth, but Judith saved me from that fate. She helped introduce me to the voice inside me, wanting to come out. I learned how to poet and write mainly because Judith believed in me and trusted me, even in my silence. This is very important for teaching artists to understand: because Judith knew how to listen, the silent language of the soul gave my pen wings.

                Yes, at first, I saw Judith as the good looking, splendidly weird woman coming into San Quentin. But after awhile, I saw the person, the poet, the teaching artist, the human, the brilliant light – a brave woman who came into our dungeon class room to teach poetry. A woman who became my mentor, my friend, and my big sis. I found out that I could share a relationship with a woman not based on sex, but on a deep, powerful, soulful, and enlightening friendship that can last lifetimes.

                Despite the fact that Judith is a small, Jewish, white woman, and I am a sturdy black man over six feet tall and a decade younger than she is, some people may think: Oh Judith must be another one of those goody two-shoes liberal white women rescuing an ignorant black man from sinking further into the abyss of San Quentin. In fact, though, we both understood that human beings must rescue themselves. Still we can be there for each other and believe in each other, as Judith believed in me and I believed in her. Because we shared our two different lives and backgrounds – putting ourselves out there, heart first – we enriched each other and forged a friendship based on realness, respect, art, trust, uncommon and common ground, and love. My weakness may have been her strengths and my strengths her weaknesses. Like wolves that know they are howling at the moon in common, Judith and I have always known that we have humanity in common. This truth led me to my undiscovered self, to a heart of bonding with Judith, to finding that I am a writer and to the realness that can mend or heal all things wrong or wounded.

A new commutation - A new chance

In 2014, the first application for commutation of Spoon Jackson's Life without parole sentence was submitted to the previous Governor, Edmund G. Brown of California. Unfortunately, Governor Brown did not grant Spoon’s petition for commutation.
Now, a new application is being prepared for California’s current governor, Gavin Newsom, with the help of four lawyers working pro bono, who are donating their time because they believe in Spoon and feel strongly he deserves a second chance!
Please share this petition with your friends once more, hopefully it will be the last time! It will soon be sent to the Governor. 

Prison Music Project article in Rolling Stone

Album release in June for Ani Difranco and Zoe Boekbinder's  Prison Music Project!
Read the article in Rolling Stone about it!

Here's Ani singing "Nowhere But Barstow and Prison", teaser for the album. Lyrics written by Spoon.

New commutation application

DEAR FRIENDS OF SPOON! Do you want to send a letter in support of Spoon's commutation? Here's all the info you need.

Spoon has a pro bono legal team that's been working on a new commutation application since last year. They've been very thorough and gone through every file documented about the court case and all the years in prison. It's soon time to send it to the Governor who, as you probably know, is speeding up commutation processes at the moment due to the pandemic.

This is the second time Spoon is filing for commutation. The first time was to Governor Brown.  Many of Spoon's friends sent support letters then.

If you have sent a support letter before, you can use the same letter, but it needs a new date and of course it has to be addressed to the new Governor!

Support letters will be added to the new commutation package.

Start at the top with:

Governor Gavin Newsom

Support letter for Commutation of LWOP Sentence

Stanley Jackson CDCR # B92377

Explain how you know Spoon and your first hand personal knowledge of how he has changed during incarceration, and why you believe he can safely be released. It's great if you can decribe how you can support him if he gets out BUT if you do - it should be true and specific, what kind of support you can provide.  Stating “we will help in any way we can” is not useful. Write a clearly detailed letter, but not more than one page.

You need to use Spoon's given name Stanley and the CDC number B92377 at the top, but you can use his name “Spoon” in the text if you want. Remember to date the letter and sign it with your signature and address! 

The letter needs to be signed with a HANDWRITTEN or ELECTRONIC signature! You do not need to send an original however -- your letter can be signed, scanned, and then emailed as a document. Spoon needs a printed copy though for his file.

If you are unable to print and are only emailing one copy, please inform Susan in the email that you haven't send Spoon a copy!

Spoon and the lawyers need your letter within one month from today!

You can find more guidelines on the web about what to include in a support letter of this kind. Here is an example

N.B. Do not send it to the Governor! Send one copy to Spoon by regular mail:

Spoon Jackson B92377

CSP Solano C 13-19-1, L.

PO Box 4000

Vacaville, CA 95696/4000

USA

and one copy by email to:

Susan Lawrence

susan.lawrence@lwopstudies.org

To My Big Sis, Judith Tannenbaum

My love for my mentor and big sis, Judith. I know death is rising over the mountains, slowly, and the

pain must be enormous. Yet Judith finds and creates beauty and peace even in the midst of a hurricane. She transforms in the middle of death. Judith has been dealing with great physical and mental pain all of her life, and yet she is like a birthing star, always growing and sending out and being love. I don’t know what my world will be without her, hollow and empty.

But it’s not about me, and I am sure she left some of her heart and spirit inside each of us— a shining light in darkness. Judith’s curiosity and loyalty is unmatched even by goddesses or gods. If she believed in you, she inspired you to be yourself and change the world, if only the small

world you knew. She lies there holding hands with death, and yet no bitterness enters her heart, and joy fills her spirit. She has made everyone better by her presence and walk in this life, and Judith’s love and magic live on in all of us who knew her and were and still are blessed by her.

Judith, you left no one behind because we all go with you and you with us! I love you, Big Sis.

Today I spoke to Judith for

the last time.

She is the bravest person I know

to keep being Judith

despite the tremendous pain

cutting at her body.

She said her time is close

to gone and reminded me

to write something

knowing already that I would.

She is my mentor and big sis,

and one of my best friends ever.

She inspired and saw in me things

I would have never seen in myself.

I grew wings because of her.

Our spirits and hearts and our love

were linked from the beginning.

Even in our silence—you like

Mr. Samuel Beckett—we treasured

our silence.

I missed you long before

you were gone.

We will meet again long

across time and space

beyond dreams and boundaries.

December 3 and 4, no word from Judith and I keep trying to call. Anja received an email saying death is very close, so I picked up the frequency of my calls, and we connected briefly and expressed our love. Yesterday, I got a card from Judith, and she said it was a prayer she read or recited each time she went into San Quentin.

I knew she was gone three days before Anja tried to tell me over the phone. I asked her not to say those words, and I had to leave the phone because what I already knew in silence became too strong. I tried to get away and went outside and had nowhere to go—no place to hide my tears—and a stormy dark sky betrayed me and did not rain. It had been raining for two days. Judith Tannenbaum, my mentor and big sister—I did not get to hug and say so long—I’ll see you some other time and space over there where loved ones go. Another dimension beyond dreams, darkness and light. I missed you already even before you were gone. I’ll be free someday too, and we will fly together—someday, Big Sis. We wanted to do poetry on stage together. I love you.

I knew Judith

was physically gone

yet I called her number

and let the phone ring anyways

knowing no one would pick up.

It would take decades of rain

for my tears to be unseen.

There is not enough rain

to hold my pain,

not enough rain

to hide the pain

of my not being there.

You were always there

like an ancient redwood.

You told me you lay

on the floor

and found solace

from a radio show

in New Orleans,

radio that took you away

from the pain.

I should have been beside you

on the floor listening.

I should have been beside you

on long walks or hikes up Mt. Tam.

I should have been beside you

on stage, going back and forth

reading poetry.

I should have been beside you

because.

Spoon Jackson

First published by The Justice Arts Coalition

Sacred

Illustration by Anja Rydén

The moment is now
one star in a collective

of stars

We must now

celebrate our differences

our sameness

our shameness

We must elevate

and celebrate the mess

we created

we must step deep

away from the shore

We must step deep

into the shit

and transform it

Now is the time

now is the moment

the call to love

the call to celebrate love

And realize

there are no distant stars

but only one galaxy of stars

We must gather

at the water holes

at the river of our souls

We must gather

like water buffalos

in love

Spoon Jackson

Bartstow - the film

"Barstow" Rainer Komers' documentary is screening at SF DocFest 5th and 7th of June! The film

looks at what life is like on the opposite side of the American Dream. Barstow is also Spoon's hometown and he reads excerpts from his and Judith Tannenbaum's memoir "By Heart" in the film.

"The film is a poignant and multi-layered portrait of the life and landscape of the Mojave Desert. Structured in a loose way, that almost allows comparisons to John Fahey's spare fingerpicking, like a skeletal blues lost in time, the film observes how life weaves itself in and outside the texture of an American life that the ideology of neo-liberal policies has completely forgotten. The voice of poet and inmate Stanley "Spoon" Jackson, who began serving a life sentence without possibility of parole in 1977 and has since then served time in more than a half dozen California state prisons, reads excerpts from his autobiography By Heart while images of a world suspended drenched in pure American mythology are intercut, drowned in the brutal reality and consequences of ruthless financial politics. BARSTOW, CALIFORNIA is truly the other side of the American dream." 
From IMDB

Uncuffed

Uncuffed is a radio series with interviews produced by men inside Solano State Prison, aired on KALW.com radio. Spoon is one of them.

The producers come from all walks of life. They are poets, musicians, actors, and writers who share a passion for revealing the human side of incarceration.
Listen to all the stories on Uncuffed. Uncuffed is supported by Arts in Corrections, a program of the California Arts Council with funding from CDCR.

WHAT IS THE COLOR OF MERCY - Another no commutation

It finally started to rain again, the sweet smell scented with green. The tiny Lord Of The Rings mountains that surround the prison will fill out and be green with new growth. I try to focus my mind away from the rubbish, right now I'm pissed off, sad and my life unfocused. I just found out there was more commutations done last week. They interviewed this fellow LWOP over the phone on a Monday and called him back Wednesday to say they commuted his sentence. I'm happy for him. 

They interviewed me a year and a half ago, and right now I wonder what is the color of mercy. The guy they commuted, was like me the shooter. He was under 21. He had 15 years in the prison system. I have twice that 15 years and more. He was a first time offender, so was I. How many times must I be of service before my day comes? What is the color of mercy?

I have no money to palm any hands, no closed door friends or officials to report to in the dark. How many dogs must I kiss to get out of prison. I have only myself and my walk in realness.

Petition on change.org

Spoon has now been in prison 41 years. The Governor of California started to grant commutation to Life Without Parole prisoners last year. Spoon is still waiting for his turn. It's Governor Brown's last term in office. You can help by signing this petition on change.org to request the Governor to grant Spoon commutation

Sign here Spoon Jackson - A Poet 41 years in Prison is Seeking Redemption

The petition will be sent to the Governor November 2018, but it will stay open to sign until Spoon is free.

Uncuffed

Uncuffed is a new radio series with interviews produced by men inside Solano State Prison, aired on KALW.com radio. Here's the first interview by Spoon: Free-spirited bluegrass musician remembers days riding the rails before his incarceration. The producers come from all walks of life. They are poets, musicians, actors, and writers who share a passion for revealing the human side of incarceration. Listen to all the stories on Uncuffed. Uncuffed is supported by Arts in Corrections, a program of the California Arts Council with funding from CDCR.

Seeking Redemption!

Please sign and share this petition requesting California Governor Jerry Brown to give a second chance to men and women with Life Without the Possibility of Parole sentences!

Spoon is one of them and we will soon make an individual petition for his case as well.

This is the Governor's last term, he already commuted over 20 LWOP sentences last year, and more is expected this year, it's the right time to do this!

Sign the petition at Change.org

Thank you for your careful consideration.

F.U.E.L. - Families United to End LWOP
Fair Chance Project - Geri Silva
Anti-Recidivism Coalition - Scott Budnick
Felony Murder Elimination Project - Joanne Scheer
California Families Against Solitary Confinement - Dolores Canales
Time for Change Foundation - Kim Carter
The Place4Grace - Karen McDaniel, M.A.
Life Support Alliance - Vanessa Sloane
Dean, Berkeley School of Law - Professor Erwin Chemerinsky
Words Uncaged - Professor Bidhan Chandra Roy
The Other Death Penalty Project - Kenneth Hartman
Silicon Valley DeBug
Unlock Tomorrow - Ray Adornetto
Liberation Prison Project - Thubten Choyki
Elizabeth Calvin - Attorney
Initiate Justice - Taina Vargas-Edmond
ACLU - Statewide
Restore Justice - Alex Mallick
#Cut50 - Michael Mendoza
Laura Sheppard - Attorney
Luis J. Rodriguez - Author and Activist
A New Path - Gretchen Burns Bergman
Collective Remake
Healing Dialogue and Action - Javier Stauring

Common at Lancaster - The Hope & Redemption Prison Tour - Excessive Sentencing

SpoonSS

Spoon is sitting at the table saying ..."nothing human is alien to anybody" and ... "everybody in here are striving to be human"...

Spoon's poetry in German

For the first time Spoon has poems translated in another language.

"Felsentauben erwachen auf Zellenblock 8" are poems translated to German by Rainer Komers and edited by Jürgen Brôcan. Both are active in "Edition Offenes Feld", a group of writers and filmmakers. The book was published June 1st 2017.

The publisher BoD announces the book:

"Spoon Jackson's poems are, as his translator Rainer Komers writes, 'stiffs' *, written in lines, personally and directly,” they are straightforward messages from a reality that feels like raw meat. Jackson's poems are not focused on the prison life, but on the individual who has to live his life there, without any prospect of pardon, but always striving to preserve human dignity. Through the observation of nature and the memory of his youth, Spoon Jackson keeps his chin up and gives the reader irrevocable hope."

------

*"a stiff", or "kassiber" in German, is a secret message smuggled out of a prison by a (political) prisoner. The word has a Hebrew origin.

You can order the book at:

BoD.de

and

amazon.de

The POPS song (Pain Of the Prison System)

We heal our pain
With our love and light
And flow with all our might
Through the darkest night—
We shine like stars

Pain of the prison system
POPS – a place where we all let go
And let ourselves flow
A place where we can let go
And not be ashamed or put on a show

Cracks in the family
Cracks in the heart
Cracks in the soul
Cracks in the wall

Like the brilliant POPS people
We are—we learn how to fall
And still stand tall
And we learn how to fall
Without hurting ourselves

We heal our pain
With our love and light
And flow with all our might
Through the darkest night
We shine like stars

Cracks in the walls
From the storms life can bring
When caught up in the pain

We fall and get up, we fall
We fall and get up and learn how
To fall without hurting ourselves

We learn how to glow
Through the sting
Life can bring—we grow wings
And strive above the strife

Like the brilliant POPS people
We are—we let go
And not be ashamed or put on a show
We channel the pain
Into a creative thing

We heal our pain
With love and light
And flow with all our might
Through the darkest night

We heal our pain
With love and light
And flow with all our might
Through the darkest night
We shine like stars
We shine, We shine

 Spoon Jackson, March 2017
dedicated to POPS The Club (Pain Of the Prison System)

Latest on clemency chance and support

Ok latest news. The warden has done her part of the job. Now the rest lies with the Governor. If anyone still wants to send a support letter it's only to the Governor!

Include the commutation application case number: COM - 2009 – 14, and use Spoon's given name and cdc number: Stanley Jackson B92377!

Send to:
Governor Jerry Brown
c/o State Capitol, Suite 1173
Sacramento, CA 95814
USA

New chance for freedom, CLEMENCY!

Spoon just sent an urgent message;  he has a chance to get out of prison because Governor Jerry Brown has actually started commuting some LWOP sentences, three men at Lancaster prison got theirs approved this week!
Spoon sent a commutation petition to the Governor in 2014. 

Now he’s asking everyone who knows him to please write the warden, DEBBIE ASUNCION and ask her to put Stanley Jackson B92377 ON THE LIST FOR CLEMENCY!
Include the commutation application case number: COM - 2009 – 14, and use Spoon's given name and cdc number: Stanley Jackson B92377!

This is the address for legal mail to the prison:
Warden DEBBIE ASUNCION
CSP - Los Angeles County
PO BOX 8457
Lancaster, CA 93539-8457
USA


Feel free to use parts of this support letter (not all, it’s far too long!): 
http://realnessnetwork.blogspot.se/2015/04/a-commutation-support-letter.html