End of an era

Here at New Folsom Art room/AIC (Arts In Corrections) it's an en end of an era because they are making it impossible for LWOP to program here unless you are a trouble maker in constant trouble. They are changing C-yard to a non programming yard and transferring all long term programmers. So Marty, Ken, Spoon, Marco who run the Arts In Corrections classes, we are all up for transfer and probably all be gone by the end of the year. Not that any of us are indispensable, just that there wont be an Art room or yard to do art programs. So, I hope Alaskans and anyone else who has been a part of AIC/Art room and wants to see us together for the last time will come in as soon as possible. "Big C" who ran singing classes has already been transferred.


Lockdown, ten months

They have eased up some on the lockdown only to unleash their next phase in their plan to continue making this yard a non programming yard. They are allowing some more blacks to go to work. Still I am denied work, visits and phone calls and still locked in cell almost all the time. There has not been any incident between blacks and south sider Mexicans since April, not even a frown and yet lockdown continues. I sit longing to go to work and close out my prose and poetry classes in realness. But New Folsom's plan is to not have any programs on C-yard and to bring in all the trouble makers they can, to foment continuous strife on this yard until they are ready to change it into a sensitive needs level four yard. Sad thing because this was once a progressive programming yard that rivalled most lower level prisons until the state decided to make it dysfunctional.


Lockdown, No Drama

Unlock seems to be working, they have been releasing blacks and south sider Mexicans to go to work, store, yard and medical and nothing has happened. Still they have not allowed me to go to work. Still there are no visits or phone calls. Yard has been very controlled with one building at a time and before this past week it was one race on the yard at a time. Yesterday all races was on the yard and nothing happened. So I hope they let me go to work next week. Because due to new criteria I and all LWOP's with low points will be transferred to lower level prisons, which isn't always a blessing. It depends on where you go.
The entire Art Room (formally Arts In Corrections) workers may be transferred. My transfer may happen in September. So, I'm looking for places to send some of my property out to the streets, letters and paperwork for safe keeping. They are changing New Folsom C-facility into a lockdown hole kick out yard with no programs. Soon even the Art room will be shut down. Shut down of programs seems to be a part of the new mission at New Folsom, and they are no longer hiding that plan.
(written August 10)


Go On

For Samuel Beckett

I cannot go on like this
but, I will go on
on and on even when
on is off

Something is stirring
in my soul, wanting
to burst out like a
hot spring in the desert

Wanting to come out
and I don't know
what it is, in the moment
I hope it's a poem
I hope it's a song

Something vast like Euripides
something wise and funny
like Aristophanes
something deep like Langston Hughes
so deep in the seas
where no light goes

I know what it is
I want to create my way
off this lockdown
and write my way
out of prison

They allowed redemption
but only condemnation now

I cannot go on
but, I will go on
on and on even when
on becomes off

Melancholic and sad
they are letting some
lifers go home
some, I have known for a lifetime
and that's a good thing

Yet, there is no end
in sight for me
and I don't know
anymore where to go
to get strength to go on

I don't know where
to go to leave
this sadness and pain
and make my heart sing again
and make my spirit soar again

Everywhere I look
there is a big sign
that says no
no forgiveness, no love
no hope, no second chance
no dreams, no romance

I cannot go on
but, I will go on
on and on even when
on becomes off

But, I have nowhere
to go
nowhere that says

Yes, it's okay to dream
for some come true
yes, it's okay to hope
for freedom is free
yes, it's okay to love
for love can be true

I sit here in the moment
in melancholic limbo
why keep dipping into
an empty well

I cannot go on
I will go on
even when on
becomes off and
I have nowhere to go

© Spoon Jackson