Go On

For Samuel Beckett

I cannot go on like this

but, I will go on

on and on even when

on is off

Something is stirring

in my soul, wanting

to burst out like a

hot spring in the desert

Wanting to come out

and I don't know

what it is, in the moment

I hope it's a poem

I hope it's a song

Something vast like Euripides

something wise and funny

like Aristophanes

something deep like Langston Hughes

so deep in the seas

where no light goes

I know what it is

I want to create my way

off this lockdown

and write my way

out of prison

They allowed redemption

once

but only condemnation now

I cannot go on

but, I will go on

on and on even when

on becomes off

Melancholic and sad

they are letting some

lifers go home

some, I have known for a lifetime

and that's a good thing

Yet, there is no end

in sight for me

and I don't know

anymore where to go

to get strength to go on

I don't know where

to go to leave

this sadness and pain

and make my heart sing again

and make my spirit soar again

Everywhere I look

there is a big sign

that says no

no forgiveness, no love

no hope, no second chance

no dreams, no romance

I cannot go on

but, I will go on

on and on even when

on becomes off

But, I have nowhere

to go

nowhere that says

yes

Yes, it's okay to dream

for some come true

yes, it's okay to hope

for freedom is free

yes, it's okay to love

for love can be true

I sit here in the moment

in melancholic limbo

why keep dipping into

an empty well

I cannot go on

I will go on

even when on

becomes off and

I have nowhere to go

© Spoon Jackson